Emily Duddy

My very own blog and I’m not sure where to start. For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to possess this type of outlet. To share my thoughts about the world, people, politics, the arts, psychology, sex, death, pool and all the other intense shit that make life worth living.

I’ve always had a more idealized outlook on the way one should connect with others, about these deeply important issues. Picturing myself in a cafe in Amsterdam (not the poolhall), smoking hookah, drinking Espresso, and philosophizing. In a beautiful park, on a bench, in the sun sitting with a stranger to learn about their life. Standing in the pouring rain talking about how great it is just to be alive and feel the water all around us. Laying on the beach, a glass of wine and the person you love. Sitting in a classroom debating if technology is an amazing step for man kind, or if it will cause social blockage like over stimulus and desensitization. Or like my mother in San Francisco in the ’60′s…listening to the music of Bob Dylan, Patti Smith, and Janis Joplin. Protesting the Vietnam War and trying to uncover the lies of the USA.

The thought of expressing myself through website, though very efficient, has always seemed hypocritical. I strive to live my life completely in the moment, embrace everyday to the fullest, and to inspire others with a touch or a smile. Not stare into a votex, cramping my fingers typing, and sitting in a stationary position all day, to write eloquently about the things I feel. Will anyone read it, will anyone absorb it, will anyone care? After years of analyzing, I think someone might. Most importantly, I have an outlet for my thoughts, a chance for more peace of mind.

Today I stumbled on Mika Immonen’s website and read some of the entries on his blog. Two in particular, one written after he won the US OPEN on October 28th, 2008 and one after the election of President Obama, caught my attention. Both sections of writing were thought provoking and genuine, both inspired me, both caused me to feel an important connection and emotion. I realized that in today’s modern world, with everyone connected by the Internet, a blog can be powerful. Sharing your thoughts by any means can effect someone. If I inspire one person, if I make one person smile or laugh, if I change one person’s opinion, if I help one person learn or grow, then every moment I spend in front of this computer is worth it.

Ultimately, I crave human connection and intellectual stimulus everywhere I go; however, I live in New York City. We all do our best to stop and smell the small amount of roses which grow, but usually what we smell on a daily basis is no where near as nice. Here your days are filled from start to finish. Commute, work, errands, exercise, pool league, practice, grab a drink, run home to watch a little depressing local news or a reality show, sleep and away we go again. Days off are filled with traveling, parties, chores, museums. For us players they are filled with Tournaments. Maintaining relationships of any kind, in our environment takes work. With everything moving a million miles an hour the only key to survival is prioritizing. We make difficult choices on how to spend our time every day We fight not to get overwhelmed. We fight not to lose our minds. I struggle with organizing my time so anally because I would like to be free. Free from the hustle, from the worry, free from the ratrace. I sometimes question- is it all worth it? With one choice I could move back to Northern California and live a more mellow and beautiful existence.

It is worth it. The beauty and magic of New York is very different then the special qualities of California, like the Redwoods and the Pacific Coast. One day I know I will find myself  living slowly there again. But for now, New York City is my home because I need the speed. And while it is my home, I need this blog to more thoroughly connect and to take the time to decompress.

So now I set aside my idealism. I realize the B.I. (Before Internet) era is long gone. That books, cafes, and face-to-face intellectual conversation, sometimes take too much time. I understand that I’m better equipped to connect with my generation, to engage in thought provoking banter, and to critique life with a keyboard. But if anyone wants to meet for an Espresso, some hookah, or a glass of wine, and we can make our schedules coincide, I occasionally have some free time. Enjoy your summer electricity and stop to smell something pretty, even if you can’t find any roses…