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Today I was asked by Olhausen Pool Tables, one of my sponsors and a great company, to ask some questions on their Facebook Page. Here is the answer to the first question asked. You can follow the link above to check out the main page. There you will be able to ask me a question regarding my pool career, read the answer to any other questions posted, and check out Olhausen Pool Tables.

Thank you Olhausen Billiards for giving me this opportunity and for being such strong supporters of women’s pool!

Question 1: What was your greatest accomplishment in 2010?

A competitor will find a way to win. Competitors take bad breaks and use them to drive themselves just that much harder. Quitters take bad breaks and use them as reasons to give up.

It’s all a matter of pride.”

~Nancy Lopez~

Towards the end of 2006 I had a lot of things going on in my life, positive and negative. After graduating from the University of California Santa Cruz  in June of 2006, I began managing Campbell Billiards fulltime, working as a trainer and training employees at a Curves in Campbell, playing in every local tournament I could, and traveling to different regions of the US to play in WPBA qualifiers. Pushing myself to the max, I began to feel very drained physically and mentally.

During this time I had a good friend who isvery intuitive and  into using the Tarot for clarity. The tarot, pronounced /ˈtɑːroʊ/, is a pack of cards (most commonly numbering seventy-eight), used from the mid fifteenth century in various parts of Europe to play card games such as Italian tarocchini and French tarot. From the late 18th century, until the present time, the tarot has also found use by mystics and occultists in efforts at divination or as a map of mental and sspiritual pathways. I’m not sure how to scientifically explain the way tarot readings work: however, I believe it is possible a person’s energy is transfered into the cards while shuffling. The cards are then laid out into different patterns, each card representing a different aspect of the situation/question/issue in discussion. With each new reading my friend would give me, I would gain a little more insight into my life. I would be provided with advice and guidance, but most importantly I would always release some mental pressure. Right before New Year’s Eve 2007, I decided to buy my own deck. Today I currently own 5 different decks which I use regularly to give myself readings , as well as others in my life. Sometimes they help me make sense of things, sometimes they help inspire, sometimes they help forewarn.  I am grateful to have a force in my life that creates spiritual guidance.

Lately my primary deck is one my boyfriend gave me for Christmas, the Osho Zen Tarot. All of the cards of this deck have beautiful, colorful, and powerful artwork and embody Zen philosophy. On occasion I would like to share different cards and their meanings from this deck with you. I hope the meanings of these cards may help to inspire you. May give you some guidance or new ideas that you can apply to your own life. Whether you believe in the power of tarot or not, the strength and the peace connected to Zen can be used as a tool towards happiness and enlightenment. Zen is about being in the moment, about going with the flow, about taking life as it comes. 

With so much stimulus all around us peaceful and intelligent thoughts are important.  Modern day life comes with too much technology, with too many bills, with a variety of errands, with a slew of schedules and appointments. As a result, its easy to become overwhelmed, sometimes without even being aware of it. Many people are overwhelmed unconsciously, they manifest this blockage in anxiety, in depression, in physical ailments, and other problems.

The first card I would like to share is: III CREATIVITY. This card helps open me up to the beauty all around me and reminds me to enjoy all my activities and hobbies as a creative outlet that help me express myself.

COMMENTARY:

From the alchemy of fire and water below to the divine light entering from above, the figure in this card is literally ‘possessed by’ the creative force. Really, the experience of creativity is an entry into the mysterious. Technique, expertise and knowledge are just tools; the key is to abandon oneself to the energy that fuels the birth of all things. This energy has no form or structure, yet all the forms and structures come out of it.

It makes no difference what particular form your creativity takes – it can be painting or singing, planting a garden or making a meal. The important thing is to be open to what wants to be expressed through you. Remember that we don’t possess our creations; they don’t belong to us. True creativity arises from a union with the divine, with the mystical and the unknowable. Then it is a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.

THE MEANING OF THE CARD:

Creativity is the quality that you bring to the activity that you are doing. It is an attitude, an inner approach- to how you look at things….   Not everybody can be a painter – and there is no need also. If everybody is a painter the world will be very ugly; it will be difficult to live. And not everybody can be a dancer, and there is no need. But everybody can be creative.

Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine.

You become move divine as you become more creative. All the religions of the world have said God is the creator. I don’t know whether he is the creator or not, but one thing I know; the more creative you become, the more godly you become. When your creativity comes to a climax, when your whole life becomes creative, you live in God. So he must be the creator because people who have been creative have been closest to him.

Love what you do. Be meditative while you are doing it – whatever it is!

Time has been flying and flowing lately. I’ve been working hard, organizing, saving and stabilizing. Unfortunately, that has left little time to indulge on my blog. Over the last few months, I’ve had my 26th birthday, been exercising and catering myself silly. I’ve had little time to practice and squeezed in a few tournaments, in which I played strongly.

The big tournament I prepare for quickly approaches… The Regional Tour Championships will take the top 9 finishers onto the WPBA Classic Tour next year. The tournament location and dates are unknown; however, it will take place in February. Over the next couple of months I will begin my training. Practice on the table, studying at home, physical and mental drills, exercise, healthy diet and the accumulation of funds. I am thrilled to work hard and prepare for this event. Winning the tournament is the goal, finishing top 9 the ultimate test. I’m going to give it everything I have.

On a less intense note, I’ve been looking forward to a vacation back to the Westcoast, which will take place from December 17th-29th. While on my visit I get to attend a play which my father has written, directed, and produced. It is called “The House of Besarab”. Needless to say I’m excited and proud of him. This is his dream into reality. I will spend time with family and friends. My father and I have decided to take a road trip up to Oregon to visit my brother, mother and step-father. This year the holidays are about my family. Considering I’ve worked on Christmas Day, the last 5 years, in different pool halls, I think it’s about time I take a real break.

This New Year’s I also plan to spend not working, another big change. The last two years I have worked a Gala at the Metropolitan Opera House in NYC. This year I’m thrilled to ring in 2010 with my wonderful boyfriend Tony and his family.

For those that haven’t checked it out, I have an interview up on www.go4pool.net. It is about my life, my career, and my outlook on pool. I thank those of you that have, or will, take the time to watch it. I also want to thank Jim Murnak, of Go4Pool, for giving me the opportunity.

I hope you all take the time this year to truly express the love and gratitude you feel. I wish you all the best. I wish you good health and hydration as we work hard and party hard through the 2009 holiday season and into the 2010 New Year. Plan to make this the best year of your life. You control it and you have a choice. Pick up the books, “Silent Power” by Stuart Wilde or “The Power of Now” by Eckart Tolle, if you need a little inspiration. Also watch the movie “Food, Inc.” if you get the time. WARNING: It may affect  how you feel about what you eat everyday. It is highly informative and an important topic everyone should be educated about.

Until my next free and inspired moment…Namaste

This is one my pool teams: Kiss of Death. We recently won the 2009 BCAPL National 8-Ball Championships (Women’s Open Division) this past May. From Left to Right: myself Emily Duddy, Michelle Li, Borana Andoni, Gail Glazebrook (team Captain), Olga Gashkova, and Alison Fischer.

It was an amazing journey and experience. We truly came together to fight as one unit. Everyone brought their A-Game, everyone played great under the pressure, every girl supported the other. I want to introduce them to you because I’m sure they will be mentioned in many of my future entries. I’m also sure they will be connected with my pool career and my life. It is my honor to play my best for such a talented group of players.

Each of us have our own personal and attractive qualities. You may say, attractive faces and bodies as well, but there is so much more to each of us than our exteriors. I look forward to you getting to know Kiss of Death. Through our blogs, through our acheivements and through our up and coming website. We have the heart and the desire to give it our all in this industry. More than being a pretty group of young women, we are real and we are genuine. We play with our soul, we play to win. I am confident that this is the beginning of a very special union and I am excited to see what comes next. I love you girls!

Pool Cue News

The Hottest Team in Vegas
May 13th, 2009

Seriously, this isn’t even fair. How can there be so many hotties on one team and how is anyone they’re playing (or anyone around them for that matter) supposed to be able to focus on their game? This team, now playing at the BCA nationals is the Kiss of Death. If the faces are familiar, that could be because they’re a who’s who of billiards hotties. There’s the smoldering Emily Duddy and Borana Andoni, the classy and elegant Gail Glazebrook and my favorite little Russian vixen Olga “Gashkova.

You know what though? I’m totally smitten by someone else on that team. Don’t get me wrong, they’re all super foxy and mega swish, but how completely adorable is Alison Fischer?? I’m talking of course about the one from Wisco, not the one from across the pond.

Can’t help myself. I just have a thing for cute, petite brunettes, especially when they’re a combination of wholesome and hot. Anyway, if you’re out in Vegas, go cheer what has got to be the sexiest team in the history of pool

Your 2009 BCAPL Team Champions
May 18th, 2009

Huge congrats to Gail, Emily, Alison, Borana, Michele and Olga on taking down the 2009 BCAPL team championship, proving once again that just because you’re a stone cold fox doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be feared at the table.

My very own blog and I’m not sure where to start. For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to possess this type of outlet. To share my thoughts about the world, people, politics, the arts, psychology, sex, death, pool and all the other intense shit that make life worth living.

I’ve always had a more idealized outlook on the way one should connect with others, about these deeply important issues. Picturing myself in a cafe in Amsterdam (not the poolhall), smoking hookah, drinking Espresso, and philosophizing. In a beautiful park, on a bench, in the sun sitting with a stranger to learn about their life. Standing in the pouring rain talking about how great it is just to be alive and feel the water all around us. Laying on the beach, a glass of wine and the person you love. Sitting in a classroom debating if technology is an amazing step for man kind, or if it will cause social blockage like over stimulus and desensitization. Or like my mother in San Francisco in the ’60′s…listening to the music of Bob Dylan, Patti Smith, and Janis Joplin. Protesting the Vietnam War and trying to uncover the lies of the USA.

The thought of expressing myself through website, though very efficient, has always seemed hypocritical. I strive to live my life completely in the moment, embrace everyday to the fullest, and to inspire others with a touch or a smile. Not stare into a votex, cramping my fingers typing, and sitting in a stationary position all day, to write eloquently about the things I feel. Will anyone read it, will anyone absorb it, will anyone care? After years of analyzing, I think someone might. Most importantly, I have an outlet for my thoughts, a chance for more peace of mind.

Today I stumbled on Mika Immonen’s website and read some of the entries on his blog. Two in particular, one written after he won the US OPEN on October 28th, 2008 and one after the election of President Obama, caught my attention. Both sections of writing were thought provoking and genuine, both inspired me, both caused me to feel an important connection and emotion. I realized that in today’s modern world, with everyone connected by the Internet, a blog can be powerful. Sharing your thoughts by any means can effect someone. If I inspire one person, if I make one person smile or laugh, if I change one person’s opinion, if I help one person learn or grow, then every moment I spend in front of this computer is worth it.

Ultimately, I crave human connection and intellectual stimulus everywhere I go; however, I live in New York City. We all do our best to stop and smell the small amount of roses which grow, but usually what we smell on a daily basis is no where near as nice. Here your days are filled from start to finish. Commute, work, errands, exercise, pool league, practice, grab a drink, run home to watch a little depressing local news or a reality show, sleep and away we go again. Days off are filled with traveling, parties, chores, museums. For us players they are filled with Tournaments. Maintaining relationships of any kind, in our environment takes work. With everything moving a million miles an hour the only key to survival is prioritizing. We make difficult choices on how to spend our time every day We fight not to get overwhelmed. We fight not to lose our minds. I struggle with organizing my time so anally because I would like to be free. Free from the hustle, from the worry, free from the ratrace. I sometimes question- is it all worth it? With one choice I could move back to Northern California and live a more mellow and beautiful existence.

It is worth it. The beauty and magic of New York is very different then the special qualities of California, like the Redwoods and the Pacific Coast. One day I know I will find myself  living slowly there again. But for now, New York City is my home because I need the speed. And while it is my home, I need this blog to more thoroughly connect and to take the time to decompress.

So now I set aside my idealism. I realize the B.I. (Before Internet) era is long gone. That books, cafes, and face-to-face intellectual conversation, sometimes take too much time. I understand that I’m better equipped to connect with my generation, to engage in thought provoking banter, and to critique life with a keyboard. But if anyone wants to meet for an Espresso, some hookah, or a glass of wine, and we can make our schedules coincide, I occasionally have some free time. Enjoy your summer electricity and stop to smell something pretty, even if you can’t find any roses…